Teach Me To Love Again
by Lr2810
Summary: How does one day change the way Bella feels in her life, from being happy to being broken and living in a dark place, can someone she new years ago help her when she moves home? I suck at sum. First Fan-Fic. Please be Kind :
1. Prologue

_**Teach Me To Love Again**_

Prologue

Today started out like any other day, I was happy, content and downright giddy. But in a matter of 4 hours that will change, my life as I know it was about to change, everything that ever mattered was going to become a memory. The only thing is how would I survive? How would I move forward with my life when all I ever known suddenly comes to an end? And last how would I ever trust or love anyone again?


	2. Chapter 1 Complete Loss

Chapter 1 – Complete Loss

I woke to the buzzing of my alarm clock. Today after 4 weeks of being nauseous and sick at my stomach I had an appointment with my doctor. I was pretty sure I was either dying or pregnant. I was nervous; James and I hadn't discussed a family. His career was just getting started and being a 24 year old CEO of the bank was a big deal for him. But we love each other, we live together, and we have discussed getting married, so a baby wouldn't be such a big deal, Right?

4 hours later, I was sitting on the couch, several test and a needle later my suspicions were confirmed, I was 9 weeks pregnant, and was happy, I was currently sitting here waiting for James to come home, I have a candle lit dinner waiting, a nice meal, and the results to my test in my hands. Waiting was all I could do now, and hope he was as happy as I was. A few minutes later I heard him pull into the garage, and close the door. As he came thru the door my mind thought He we go, It' now or never.

I heard the door open and him call my name "Bella, honey I'm home."

As he took me in his arms for a hug and kissed my forehead he whispered how much he missed me and loved me. My heart soared, I knew it was going to be ok.

"Bella, what smells so delicious?"

"Well I thought I would surprise you with your favorite meal, steaks and potato's and a salad with French dressing".

"Wow, I can't wait to eat." He said with a grin spread across his lips.

"Well I just hope it taste as good as smells." I laughed

"I am sure it is great."

"Ok, baby enough sucking up, sit and I will get your plate for you".

After a quiet comfortable dinner he got up from the table and helped bring the dishes to the sink. I rinsed them and loaded them into the dishwasher. I heard the tv come on in the den. I walked down the hall and watched as he sat in his favorite chair and flipped thru the channels landing on the sports channel. I walked over to him and sat on the arm of the chair. I bent over and placed a kiss to his cheek. He returned it with a kiss on my forehead and a little hug, then he went back to watching the tv.

I waited a few minutes till a commercial came on and looked at him trying to figure out what to say.

"James, baby I have something to tell you, you know I had a doctors appointment with Dr. Webber today." Before I could continue he had me in his lap kissing my face and holding me in a tight hug.

"Bella, baby is everything ok, please tell me your ok, Oh God your ok right?"

"James, Please listen I'm fine ok I'm fine and the…The baby is fine…" There said it .

I sat there staring into his eyes for what seemed like forever, but what shocked me was the look I saw in his eyes first it was surprised, then shock, then the look that surprised me the most was anger.

"James, baby please say something, your scarring me." Scarred of what he wasn't saying scarred of what was going thru his mind and finally scarred of what this meant for us.

"James" but he silenced me with a slap across the cheek and he jumped up to fast for me to balance myself and I fell to the floor with a thud.

He then yelled the last thing I ever wanted to hear….

"GET RID OF IT" he screamed as he turned and walked out the door. I heard the garage door open and he squealed out of the driveway.

I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest rocking and crying for this baby in my body, for my life and my heart, I have never felt so broken and at a complete loss as I did at this moment. Yes my face stung but not like the words that were going thru my head the words he had just screamed at me, the words that will forever haunt my dreams.

A little while later I made my way up to the bed room with shaky knees and red eyes. I laid down and cried. I cried for James, I cried for my baby and I cried for what my future would be, or most importantly would my future not be. After what seemed like hours I finally let darkness take me into restless dreams.

I don't know how long I had been asleep but I was woken to the slamming door. I rolled over and saw it was 2am on the alarm clock. I had been asleep for 3 hours. I sat up and rubbed my swollen red eyes and bruised cheek. My head was hurting but the worst thing was my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Everything that had happened came flooding back into my memory and the words spoken cut like knife once again new tears started falling down my cheeks. I jumped as I heard James scream my name. I was scared, no other way to put it but terrified for what was about to come.

"BELLA, BBBEEELLLLLAAAAAA where are you at you bitch? Come out and plllaaayy." he sang out. I knew what that meant, he was drunk, and pissed. Never a good combination where James was concerned.

_Flashback_

_Last Christmas at James company party I remember the look on his face when Mike was talking to me about the work I was doing for his parents at their sporting good store. James walked up and pinned Mike against the wall and threatened him. He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the party, he was quiet all the way home, as soon as we walked thru the door he was calling me names, he called me a slut and he demanded I never speak to him again, he also demanded I quit working for them. He attacked me and slapped me, I remember the pain I felt that night after we had sex, he hurt me he told me he would never let me leave him. He forced himself on me 2 times thru the night that night and I cried the whole time. He wasn't the same man I loved. The next morning he woke me with kisses all over my face, when I finally looked up at him he looked so broken and scarred. He apologized and begged me to forgive him he blamed it on the alcohol and swear he would never hit me again. All I wanted was for us to be ok, we made love that morning it was slow, passionate and tender. Everything was ok. Till Now…_

I walked out of the room to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs leaning his weight on the wall. "James" I spoke with a broken sad voice, I hated to see him this way, this broken, and scarred.

"Come on James baby come to bed ok?" I said as I walked down the steps to help him.

"Bella nothing has changed I am still mad, I don't know how you could have done this to me, why you hate me so much that you would go and get yourself pregnant." Ok I thought that was it….

"James, what are you talking about I didn't do this to you I didn't do this on purpose. We James we created a baby out of our love how can you think so badly about this, this is your child your and mine." By this time we were standing at the top of the stairs. "Come on and lets go to bed your drunk and we can talk about this in the morning". I was hoping he would just listen to me and go to bed, sleep on it and feel differently in the morning.

I took his arm and tried to lead him to the bedroom when he grabbed my arms and shook me with such force I felt my eyes roll back and forth, "I am drunk, but I don't want to sleep on it I know what I want. I want you to go and get rid of this little matter by the end of the week, we will never discus this again, do you understand me?" he was yelling at me while he held my arms so tightly I knew I would have bruises.

"Bella do you hear me I don't want this baby, I want it gone and I want it gone by the end of the week, speak to me stop standing there crying tell me you are going to listen to me and get rid of it?, ANSWER ME DAMIT"

"No" I yelled, " no James I will not do that I cant do that", he grabbed me again "Please Please stop" I sobbed "your hurting me James".

"Then tell me Bella tell me what I want to hear, I want us you and me that's it only us no one else, I will not share you, you are mine, GOT IT" he screamed.

I cried harder as he kept slapping me, I tried to run but I couldn't get out of his hold I screamed "NOOO" that was the last thing I remember before my world went black.

A/N: Please tell me what you think, Thanks, Lori


	3. Chapter 2 Already Gone

Chapter 2 - Already Gone

I woke in the hospital, I wasn't sure how much time had gone by, but I knew my life had changed drastically. The heart monitor was beeping steady at my head. The lights were turned down. I looked around and was met by 2 blue eyes looking at me, James. My thoughts started to come back to me, the fight, the screaming and the baby. My baby, the one James didn't want.

"Bella, baby can you hear me?" James asked while he moved to the bed to stand next to me. I felt empty alone and scarred. "Bella please say something."

So I did I spoke in a voice I didn't recognize a voice so sad.

"James, Get Out!!!"

"Bella baby you don't mean that you fell down the stairs, I was so worried about you, I was scar…."

I cut him off there " Scarred you don't know what being scarred feels like I remember James, I remember everything, oh god the baby please tell me the baby is fine."

"I told you Bella I wasn't going to share you, and I meant it I will not be second in you life."

"The baby James how is the baby?" "Please" I started to cry I already knew my heart already was breaking because there was no baby, I had lost this innocent baby because of james.

"There is no baby Bella you lost it when you fell down the stairs"

"GET OUT I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN NEVER WERE OVER DO YOU HEAR ME, GET OUT"

Next thing I heard was the door opening and Dr. Cullen walked in. I vaguely remember hearing him warn James and telling him to leave.

"Bella, how are you feeling, you had us so worried, you took a bad fall down those stairs, I am sorry about the baby Bella. But you will be fine." All I could do was cry.

Dr. Cullen was a good man he was like a second father to me and his wife Esme she was like a mother to me. Alice was there daughter we were best friends we done everything together, but we lost contact. She never liked James, she always said I could do better that I could have anyone I wanted. But she was wrong there was one guy I could never have, her brother Edward. He was 2 years older then us and was beautiful, tall and very well built not to big like my brother Emmett, but he was perfect. Slender but abs of steel. But he never knew I existed. I remember telling him that I had feelings for him, he just laughed and told me I was like his sister. That was the last time I saw him, he graduated and went off to college to become a doctor. Alice went off to college in Texas for clothing design while I stayed here in Forks with James. I had met James my senior year and we have been together since. He wanted me to stay home while he worked and made a home for us. I should have seen the red flags then, my dreams of becoming a nurse were no longer a dream. But James loved me and I wanted to make him happy. We moved into a nice house just out of town and the rest was history. I was snapped out of my thoughts when my father and brother came into the room.

"Bella, sweetheart how are you feeling?, you had us so scarred." He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Da..Dad, oh dad" tears were streaming down my cheeks. "Daddy I was so scarred"

"Shhh, baby I know, your going to be ok, I wont let you hurt anymore" he just kept holding me in his arms, rocking me back and forth. I looked up and saw Em standing at the foot of the bed. He was just looking at me with such a pained look on his face. He walked over to me and rubbed my head. I just cried.

A little bit later dad got up and laid me back on my pillow. Em took his place and played with my hair, trying to sooth me, he still hadn't spoke to me. My dad spoke up "Bella honey do you remember what happened?" I just looked at him how do you tell your father you allowed this man you loved to break you down, to steal everything away from you?

"All I remember was waking in the hospital dad, I got up to go get me something to drink and woke up here." I lied , I just looked him in the eyes and lied. I cant tell him about what really happened I couldn't allow him to do anything that would cause more pain, I just want it over with. That's when Emmett spoke for the first time, "Bullshit, Bella what did James do, I know he had something to do with this, I have never liked him. Bella tell me what happened."

"Okay listen we had gotten into it we yelled but that was it we made up, we went to bed and I got out of bed to get some water end of story, Em I promise, I must have lost my balance and fell, you know how clumsy I am. Please just leave it alone, ok just let it go."

"No Bella I know there's more." Em was not going to give up. I understood what he was saying he had always been my protector , always took care of me like an older brother would do, but I just couldn't tell him. I just looked at him with a pleading look to leave it alone.

"Bella" Dr. Cullen said as he came back into the room, "You are quite lucky, just some bruises and scratches, I am going to release you in the morning but for tonight I would like for you to rest." He was smiling he always new how much I hated the hospital and the food. "How dose that sound to you?"

"Sounds wonderful"

"Well Em I think we should be going if your going to be ok Bella?"

"Yes Dad please I will be fine, I think I am gonna call mom and knock out for a while".

"Well ok then , I love you Bells" he said as he bent down to give me a kiss on my forehead. "call me if you need anything ok?"

"Yes dad, I promise, but really I will be fine"

"I Love You little sis, please if there were something else you would tell me right?"

"Yes Em, I promise, and I love you to." They turned and walked out of the room. Then Dr. Cullen spoke to me not as a doctor but as a father, "Bella, I know this is hard on you, I see it in your eyes, please if you want to talk to me it would be confidential but I know your hurting, you cant do this on your own, you need help. I know you weren't far along in your pregnancy but it hurts all the same dear, please feel free to come to me, or Esme we love you like our own daughter, you know that right"?

"yes I know thank you for everything Carlisle, I really appreciate it but I want to be alone right now ok"

"sure sweaty just have the nurse page me if you need anything ok?"

"Ok" "again thank you" and then he was gone. I was alone in my thoughts of what to do now.

I lay here thinking about my life. It defiantly wasn't turning out how I wanted. I was a 24 year old woman with no job, no home and a life that was a lie. There was only one thing I could do was to get away from here leave Forks and start a life somewhere else. But where, where could I go and get my life on track, start over, and be happy? Those were the thoughts going thru my head as I finally closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke the next morning with a clear head I knew what I had to do.

"Mom, I want to come to Phoenix for a while"

"O baby that would be great, I have a room for you just come home I miss you" she said.

"I have to talk to dad but I feel like it would be a good thing" I think.

Later I was released and was on my way to dads, Em picked me up and was driving me. It was silent he did not say a word but I know he new something was up. I finally decided to break the news to him.

"Em, I am going to live with mom for a while, I have to get my life back in order and I cant do it here. I have to get away from here, start fresh." All he said was "I know, I will miss you so much but I understand what your saying, you know I will always be here for you"

"I know" was all I said. A few hours later I was telling Charlie the same thing. I saw the hurt in his eyes and it broke my heart even more.

"Bells I want you to know you have a home here, this will always be your home. I love you, but I understand you have to do what you feel like is best for you. Your a smart young lady and you have to follow your heart. I will miss you, but I understand."

"Dad this isn't goodbye, you know we will talk everyday and I will be back. Forks is my home and I love it here, I just have to get away for a while. I love you daddy, and I will miss you to." He hugged me tight. I knew I was doing the right thing at that point, the only thing I could do.

So here I am boarding a plane to my new life, a new start. No more James, I couldn't stand the thought of being around him, all the memories good and bad. I no longer loved him, not sure I really ever did, and then there was the thought that I had lived a life of lies with him, I deserved better. I had to do this, I would be a better person in the long run for this. Right?

A/N: I am not Stephanie Myer, I am just a person with thoughts and real life situations are helping in writing a story for you to read.

This chapter was hard it was not what I had written down it was better this way, I hope you aren't disappointed I will update more tonight or tomorrow, I have several chapters already written out just tweaking them a little. And since my daughter has the flu, I wont be working this week. Please let me know what you think , thanks, Lori


	4. Chapter 3 Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Chapter 3 - Who Says You Can't Go Home?

**2 years later….**

I can do this, I am a stronger woman, I have a job I will be starting next week, I have an apartment of my own. I can do this, I kept chanting in my head as I waited in line for my luggage. 2 years ago I left a scarred, broken woman; I am returning a strong independent woman with my whole life ahead of me. I have missed Forks, my dad and of coarse my brother Emmett. He had just opened his own bar called "The Barn, Bar and Grill". He has a new woman in his life. I have spoken to her a few times on the phone, she seems great for him. I went back to the little community college in Phoenix and got my degree for a Pharmacy Technician and work for a neighborhood pharmacy for a while. Then one night talking to my dad he asked me when I was coming home, I never intended on staying gone for so long, I figured 6 months to a year. I knew he missed me and I missed my home. Thankfully he got a hold of Carlisle for me and there was an opening in the hospital in Forks. Mom had informed me that her and Phil her new husband were moving to Jacksonville FL. For his job, he is a minor league baseball player, so the time seemed right, I was coming home. Needless to say I was nervous, but I had found out that James was living and working in Seattle and had a new girlfriend. A few weeks after I left he got drunk and went into work yelling at everyone and needless to say he lost his job. Apparently his fathers help him get a job at the bank he was now working at, and the rest was history. I am glad I won't have to see him everyday, or worry about running into him on a daily biases.

I will never forget that night, I still wake up from the nightmares from time to time, but I know there is nothing to be done, I can't live my life in the past. My heart will always remember the baby I once carried only for a little time, but I know I must move on which brings me to the present..

"BELLA" I heard my loud brother yell, breaking me out of my thoughts. He ran up to me and grabbed me up in a bone crushing hug, oh how I have missed these hugs.

"Em, Em, put me down, I cant breath" I laughed out as he swung me around. He put me down and stepped back to look at me.

"Damn Bells you look great, look at you, not that I am complaining but you cut your hair, I never thought you would part with your hair"

"Well Em this is the new me, I needed it, besides I didn't cut that much off just 6 inches and it will grow back it is easier to take care of this way."

"It looks real good Bells really, I would like you to meet someone, the love of my life, Rosalie, Rose, this is Bella, Bella this is my Rose"

"Rose, hi it is great to finally meet you" she pulled me in for a hug, it felt nice to have a friend, someone to talk to, we had gotten really close over the past few months talking thru email and thru the phone. She was beautiful; she had long blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"Bella, finally!!" she laughed as she held me.

"So, Emmy I see you still got your Jeep, good to see some things stay the same." I laughed out, he still had his silver Jeep, the thing was a monster, I could hardly climb up in the thing.

"Em you look so good, I am glad Rose here has been taking care of you"

"Bells come on you know I can take care of myself, I don't nee a woman to take care of me" next thing I heard was a thump and Em apologizing to Rose. I had to laugh. My brother who stood 6'2 and was built like the Hulk was being brought down by a girl. Of coarse Rose towered me and could hold her own, they really were a great couple.

"So Bells Dad found you a great apartment, they are new just under a year old not far from the hospital, but seeing how you love my Jeep you wont have to walk to work"

"What Em, what are you talking about wont have to walk are you forgetting I don't have a vehicle yet, I need to go find one" he broke me off by laughing, Ok so I was confused.

"No Bells I found you something I think you would really like."

"Em really what, what did you find me?"

"Well lets just say it's a Jeep, but not like mine" He was laughing, I was not sure what he was finding so funny.

"Ok Em so what kind of Jeep?"

"It's the new Compass they are really awesome vehicles. Bells I really hope you don't mind but I really wanted to get you something." I was listening to what he was saying was he worried I would be mad at him? I could never be mad about that.

"Em please just shut up, Thank you, I am grateful that you thought of me." "so what can I do to pay you back?"

"Well I was hoping you would ask me that" uh oh that is never a good sign, I knew he was up to something.

"Bella Boo Boo, I was wondering if you would like to help out at the bar on the weekends, you know like bartend or sing, or"

"Whoa there Em sing, no not singing ok I will bartend but defiantly not singing, got it?"

"Yeah yeah I got it" we were pulling into an apartment complex, but it wasn't like I thought it would be it was nice for Forks. I had at least 6 floors, it look really nice, I just hope I can afford it.

"Ok Bells were here, I got you bags lets head on up, I think dad said it was 403, dose that sound right Ro?" "Yeah that's it, come on Bella lets take a look"

I was shocked, it was beautiful I walked into the foyer, and into the Living room, there was a fireplace and a balcony with French doors, the kitchen was amazing with stainless steal appliances and a breakfast nook, a bar and recessed lighting throughout the whole apartment. There were 2 bedrooms and 2 baths the master bedroom was huge, with walk in closets and a master bath with a walk in shower it was amazing it didn't have doors you kind of walk around the wall and there was the shower, there was a huge tub with jets around it, I defiantly couldn't wait to try that out. I was in awe of this place.

"Wow Em dad done amazing, I don't know if I can afford this, this is to much."

"Bells dad knows the owner of these condos it was really a done deal when he heard you were coming home, I mean you remember Billy right? He owns these, Rose and I actually live over there across the lake in the building with the G on it your building is E so we are neighbors!" he was laughing as he grabbed me up in another hug. I realized at that point how much I really missed my big brother it was defiantly great to be home.

"Bells I missed you, it is so good to have you home, it wasn't the same without you." He kissed me on the forehead.

"Well it is good to be home, now show me my new car so I can go surprise dad at the station."

We walked out the door and there sat my jeep not as big as Em's, but you could tell this was a vehicle Em picked out it was perfect.

"Em I love it, thank you" I hugged him tight.

"Your welcome Bells welcome home"

After hugging Rose and promising to meet up with her the next day for a day out I was on my way to the Police Station to see my dad, I can't believe after all these years he was still working there. He could have retired 4 years ago but he refused, he said "I don't know what to do with myself on my days of Bells no way could I handle having 7 days a week off", I just laughed at him. That was my dad a great man and loving father. I don't know what I would do without him.

I turned into the lot and parked by his cruiser I was glad he was he. I walked in to be met by Sue his secretary, she just smiled real big at me, and got up to give me a hug, she was a good lady, I know she loved Charlie even though he picked on her, and I had a feeling it was mutual on his part, I wish they would just tell each other and move on, parents?

"Bella dear it is so good to have you back, All Charlie has talked about for the past week was when you were going to get here."

"Well I guess this will be a surprise for him then I was supposed to meet him at 5 at the diner but decided to stop by here first"

"He is going to be so happy, go on back, you know the way."

"Thanks Sue"

I walked down the hall and peeked into his office, it was so funny he was sitting there looking at picture if me and Em when we were just kids, it was the day Em lost his favorite ball, he was crying and I was rubbing his back.

"Hey old man, you haven't changed"

"Bells" he got up and rushed over to me and wrapped me in his arms, I felt so safe, so loved, at home.

"And who you calling old" he laughed out.

"Oh Bells I have missed you, let me look at you", he took a step back.

"Your hair, it looks beautiful, you look beautiful, defiantly a sight for sore eyes."

"Come on lets go grab a bit to eat" we turned and walked out of his office.

"So what do you think of the Jeep Em found for you?" he asked as we walked to our cars.

"I love it dad really, he did good."

We sat in the café for what seemed like hours just talking and catching up. We talked about our child hoods, how I went back to school, and my job I was to start the following week. It was good to sit and laugh with him, I knew then everything was the way it should be.

I pulled into my parking spot and made my way to my apartment. I was happy to be home and be with my family. I fell asleep with my future on my mind and for once I wasn't scarred.


	5. Chapter 4 Good Times and Bad Memories

Disclaimer: I am not S.M. I do not own these characters. Twilight is not mine, oh how I wish it was….

Chapter 4 – Good Times and Bad Memories

It was finally Friday afternoon; it had been a week full of surprises and unpacking. Rose was a god send she helped me unpack and get settled into my new home. It really was a great place and just a few more days and I will start my new job at the hospital. I was a nervous wreck to say the least. I had promised Em and Rose I would come to the bar tonight and hang with them and Jasper, Roses brother. I hadn't ventured to far this week getting my things in order was a job and a half, rose said several times that I had way to many books, and she was going to open my apartment up as a library.

I spent the evenings with Charlie. I would cook and do some of his house cleaning for him. Of course he would tell me to sit and not worry about cleaning up after him. I would tell him to hush up and watch whatever game was on the tv. Times like those when we would have our little banters back and forth, reminded me just how much I missed being here, and how much I loved my family.

I looked at the clock and realized it was a little after 6:00pm I had told Rose I would meet up with her at Em's bar around 7:30. I jumped in the shower, not realizing how much my body was aching and sore. I washed my hair with my strawberry smoothie shampoo and my strawberry and champagne body wash. After a few extra minuets of standing under the warm stream of water in my shower, I got out and dried off. I wrapped the towel around my body and walked to my closet. I had no idea what to wear. I decided on a pair if my worn looking jeans with the holes in the knees, and a dark blue, v-neck sweater. I found my black boots that goes to my knees. I stepped back and looked at myself in the full length mirror. "Not to bad" I thought, now all I had left to do was dry my hair and I put on some smoky eye shadow, and mascara. I grabbed my leather jacket and lip gloss and was out the door for the first time since I had been home in Forks.

I arrived at the bar around 7:15. I walked in and started looking for Em. He had really done a great job on his bar. He had wanted to open a bar since we were little kids, it was all he talked about. I was so glad when he called me up about a year ago to let me know he was opening it up. I have never been so proud of anyone than I am of him, he has really straightened up his act, especially after he met Rose. They really cared for each other and would do anything for one another.

I looked over toward the bar to see Em talking to some man, I couldn't see his face, his back was to me, but he had the oddest color of hair, a mix of copper and bronze, strangely enough it was also so familiar to me, I had only seen that color on a boy, the same who stole my heart several years ago.

I was brought out of my thoughts to Em grabbing me up in a bone crushing hug.

"Em put me down" I laughed out to him.

"Hey squirt, I am so glad you came out tonight, there is someone who has been asking about you come here for a second" he led me over to the bar where I was met by the greenest eyes I had only seen on one person, "EDWARD", I said a little louder than I should have but I was in complete and utter shock. This was the one guy who I loved with all my heart and soul, who might I add never loved me back, as a matter of fact he never knew I existed.

"Bella" his beautiful velvety voice said, while he was staring into my eyes. He was just a gorgeous as he ever was. He looked like a god with his crazy sex hair and his mouth, oh his mouth I wanted to just kiss him stupid right there. Come on Bella get a hold of yourself, what in the hell is wrong with you? I kept thinking.

"Bella you look great, what has it been 6 years since I saw you?" he asked still looking at me with his fuck me eyes, come on get a hold of your self, I was hoping I could talk without sounding like an idiot.

"Yeah that sounds about right, how the hell have you been?" I asked.

"Not to bad, I am working at the hospital in the ER, I really like it, and you know I get to help people." Emmett cut in "you know Eddie, little Bella here is starting at the hospital this Monday, isn't that right Bells?"

"Yep Monday morning, I start in the Pharmacy."

"Well that sounds like a great p-lace for you, Bella; maybe we can catch up for lunch and talk more?"

"Sure Edward sounds good" I turned to Em, who had a really weird look on his faced,

"Em, can you get me a drink I am thirsty here."

"Sure, what's your poison?"

"Surly you remember my drink of choice?"

"Yeah, Yeah how can I forget 1 liquid cocaine coming right up."

Edward and I just stood there looking like idiots.

"Bella would you like to sit down for a little while I would love to catch up, it's been to long. You really look good, I like what you done to you hair."

"Uh, yeah that would be great, and thanks, but I am waiting for Em's girlfriend Rose and her brother, whom I haven't met yet and his wife, they should be getting here any minute."

"Oh yeah, I know I am meeting them here also, I mean we can get a table and wait for them together?"

"O uh sure, I mean we are waiting on the same group I guess it wont hurt any." We walked over to a booth that was sitting to the left of the bar. He sat down across from me and looked at me and smiled. Oh that smile, that crooked, sexy smile. I didn't realize how much I missed him. I also couldn't help but feel a little hurt. He was the first boy who I fell in love with, who used to treat me like his little sister. We used to be close and on night just before he graduated, I told him how I felt and he of coarse thought I was joking his exact words to me that night were "how do you even know what love is Bells, your only 16. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will fall in love several times before you meet the man you merry," Little did he know I never loved anyone like him.

We sat there for a few minutes before Rose walked up and pulled me into a hug.

"Bella sweetie how are you doing tonight, you look great." She said.

"Thank you, you look hot girl" I said and she really did she had on a short red halter dress and black heels, she was perfect and Em fell all over her.

"Yeah baby you look great" Em said as he wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her neck. Times like these really made me miss having a man in my life. I miss being held and kissed and just loved. As sad as it makes me feel I don't think I have ever been loved like that by a man, and at this point in my life I don't think I ever will. My life has been so difficult that I am really hoping things will start looking up for me. Maybe I will find that right person, the man who will love me like there is no tomorrow. That's all I lack in my life right now. I have a great job I will be starting and a great place to live, I am also home.

I sat there listening to the others banter back and forth till I heard her, my best friend, the one who I hadn't heard from or seen in 4 years. The voice I had missed more than anyone's.

I turned around and face her, she looked as shocked as I was.

"BELLA" she squealed

"Alice" I grabbed her and hugged her as tight as Emmett had done me earlier. I couldn't help it but I started to cry. I loved this girl like my flesh and blood, I shared all my secrets with her. I missed her so much, I couldn't believe she was her in my arms hugging me back. I finally pulled back to look at her. She looked great still short and sassy. She just looked back at me with tears in her eyes and smiled. Everyone was looking at us with huge grins on their faces.

"You guys knew she was coming?"

"Well Bells, its time I told you, I have wanted to tell you all week but Rosie here said I would be sleeping on the couch for the next month if I ruined your surprise."Em just looked at me with his mischievous grin.

Rose spoke up, "Bella, Alice here is married to my brother here Jasper."

"Jasper this is Bella, I have told you all about her, Bella I have missed you so much, we have so much to talk about" Alice said as she grabbed me up in another hug.

"Bella, it is finally good to meet you" Jasper gave me a hug.

In all the commotion I hadn't realized Edward being so quiet. He just stood there with a smile on his beautiful lips.

"Alice" he finally spoke up as he pulled her into a hug.

We sat there for hours and talked about the things we did in school. All the trouble Alice and I got into when we snuck out our junior year of high school to go to a party. Edward kept looking my way and he would smile that heart stopping crooked smile. I really missed him I guess I had hopped all those years that we had been apart that if I ever seen him again I wouldn't feel this way, but I do. My heart still skips a beat, he still makes me feel safe. It was like we had never been apart.

I stood up to go to the rest room, "I will be right back, I need to freshen up ok"

"Ok bells I will be in there in a minute" Alice spoke up.

"Sure" I said as I walked away.

I turned down the hall towards the restrooms when I heard my name being called, I got a cold chill that went thru my body.

"Bella" he spoke again. I stopped dead in my tracks before I could turn around he had his hands on my shoulders and had me pushed up against the wall.

"I told you I would see you again, you look so good Bella, oh how I have missed you"

"James" I said trying to hold back the tears, he was holding me so tight by my shoulders. "what are you doing here" I asked him trying to sound like I wasn't scared, but in all reality I was scared shitless, I kept hopping someone would come around the corner and help me.

"Bella, did you think I wouldn't come back?, I heard you were back, I told you we were ment to be together did you think I would forget?"

"James please you are hurting me, please just leave me alone." I started hearing Rose and Alice's voices getting closer, but apparently James did also.

"Bella this isn't the end, I will be back to claim what is mine" he then left me standing there. I sunk down to the floor and started crying. The next thing I heard was Alice and Rose rushing over to me asking me if I was ok. All I could say was "James".

"Emmett" Rose yelled and heard him running towards us along with Edward and Jasper. I vaguely remember Rose telling him about James being there before he ran off with Jasper. Edward scooped me up in his arms and carried me into the office a sat me on the couch where I collapsed in his arms and felt safe.

A/N: Hope this was a good chapter and you all enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think.. Lori


	6. Chapter 5 Good Times and Bad MemoriesPt2

Chapter 5 Good Times and Bad Memories Pt. 2

EPOV

It had been a long week, and I was ready to go out and meet up with the gang. We always went to Emmett's bar and let off some steam. I had heard from Alice earlier in the week she had told me about Bella moving back home. I was surprised to hear it, Emmett had told me of her living in Phoenix with her mom and Phil and always made it sound like she was happy. That was all I ever wanted for her, she was a great girl, growing up we were close. She was like my sister and I would do all I could to protect her and keep her safe.

I remember the last time I spoke to her, I was so cruel and rude to her. I can still see the hurt in her eyes when I laughed at her when she told me of her feelings. After that day I couldn't bring myself to look at her, she was so sad and I knew I was the reason. I knew her and Alice still were close friends after I left for collage. My mom would tell me about all the things they were getting into and the dances and dates. I remember when Alice let it slip to me that she was dating James. I couldn't believe she would give him the time of day, he was a jerk and I knew he didn't care about anyone's feelings but his own. Although I knew I had no right to say anything in the matter because I was no better. She has confessed her feelings to me and I just tossed them to the side. I never thought we would work out she was younger, and I was going away for school and wanted to experience life. That was the worst thing I could have ever done. I knew I had feelings for Bella years before she ever told me of hers for me. But I could never tell her or anyone for that fact, her brother was my best friend. I knew we could never be together so I done what I did and lost the person I cared for the most, I lost Bella.

I remember the day Bella and Alice graduated from school. I came in for the weekend and was looking forward to seeing everyone. Alice had told me about Bella still seeing James and me heart hurt. I remember the pride on Bella's face as she crossed the stage to receive her diploma and all her achievements awards, she was breathtaking and no longer did she act or look like the little Bella, she was a woman a beautiful and stunning woman.

I remember the pain I felt when James hugged her tightly and kissed her mouth. My heart was broken, but I had done this to myself, I was selfish and stupid. I realized I loved Bella Swan. Alice confronted me that night before they we all meeting at the beach for a party. She told me she knew I had feelings for Bella and I needed to confront her and tell her how and I quote "stupid" I was and beg her forgiveness. That was easier said than done. I went to the party that night in hopes of talking to her and telling her how I felt, but I couldn't do it after I over heard her and James talking about their future together and when she told him she loved him to I knew I would no longer have a place in her world, she had moved on like I had hoped she would 2 years ago.

Now here we are 6 years later and I was a nervous wreck. Last I knew she and Alice had lost contact and she lived with her mom.

I was sitting at the bar talking when she came in. I could sense her before I seen her. Her smell was like a drug, it was completely Bella, no one had ever came close to the sent she had it was one of strawberries and flowers it was breathtaking. I turned and saw her, I was blown away, she was beautiful. The way she walked, smiled and looked confident with every step she took, took my breath. There is no other words to describe her but beautiful.

She walked up to us and smiled the smile that made my heart jump up in my throat and beat wildly. Emmett walked around the bar and gave her a hug. I was jealous, I wanted no more than to grab her and hug her like that and kiss her pouty pink lips and make her mine, but I knew I had no right to think this way, I gave away that right years ago.

"Hi" she spoke as she sat on the bar stool next to mine. I couldn't help but feel the electricity in the air around her.

I smiled my crooked smile and said "Hi" back. We sat there for a little while as she talked to her brother.

Emmett spoke up and told us to get the table to our right that everyone would be there soon.

Rose was the first to arrive as we were sitting down. She gave me a warm smile and asked how my week had been, it was just small talk and every chance I got I stole glances in Bella's direction. A little while later Jasper and Alice showed up and we sat around and talked for hours.

Bella got up and went to the rest room, I took that opportunity to find out a few things from Alice, who was giving my that knowing look and the I told you so look that I was trying to figure out. I found out that the beautiful Bella was living in the same condo community as Em, Rose and myself. That she was starting Monday at the hospital in the Pharmacy dept. and she was single. That little fact made my head spin, could we ever have a relationship other than friendship, would she forgive me and my ignorance and give me a chance? I guess only time would tell, I would have to wait and see where the roads would lead us and hope like hell it would be in my favor.

A little while later Rose and Alice excused them selves and went to the restroom. A second later we all heard a scream and we jumped to our feet, 2 things happened that made my heart stop one was a guy running from the hall out the door and 2nd was looking down the hall and seeing Bella curled up in a ball shaking and crying. Emmett ran to her side and Rose was trying to calm her down while Alice looked pissed. I heard Rose tell Emmett that it was James, and he and Jasper took off after him.

I made my way to Bella, she looked like a scared little girl cowering in the corner.

I bent down and tried to speak to her.

"Bella, honey are you hurt?" but there was no response.

"Edward can you get her to the couch in the office?" Rose asked with tears of her own spilling from her eyes.

I immediately put my arms around Bella and lifted her into my chest and carried her in the office. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and they were landing on my shirt, I didn't care if felt good to have her in my arms. I sat her on the couch and sat down beside her. I was surprised when she leaned over and placed her head on my lap and passed out. I kept running my fingers thru her hair and trying the best I could to comfort her. I could tell she was asleep when her breathing evened out.

I looked up as Em and Jasper walked back in winded. I had never seen Em so angry. He bent down to look at Bella and kiss her forehead. He stood up and hugged Rose.

"Shhh, Em baby she's ok, were here with her she will be ok, you have to calm down and breath." Rose spoke to him in a very calming manor.

He looked at me with red eyes "Is she alright Edward, did he hurt her cause if he did he is a dead man"

"No she's just shook up, I didn't look real close but I think she will be ok, Em what the hell happened?"

He looked at me like I had a third head.

"You mean you don't know what that ass did to her, you haven't heard the hell he put her thru the reason she left and went to Phoenix?"

"No, I am so confused, what happened? I need to know."

"He almost killed her, and he did kill her baby".

I was shocked I looked down at this angel and my heart broke. I looked up to see Alice just as shocked as I was. Rose had sat on the other end of the couch and put Bella's feet in her lap, she was still crying. Jasper and Em were just pissed.

I looked up to Alice "You didn't know right? Because if you knew and didn't tell me so hel…" Alice stopped me in the middle of my rant

"NO Ed I had no idea I had lost contact with her a few years ago, she just quit answering when I called her emails started coming back. I just assumed we grew apart and no longer wanted to be friends." She said as she started to break down. She turned to Jasper and hugged him.

Everyone was looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I sat there my head spinning with all this information.

"He wouldn't let me answer you anymore" Bella spoke up. I hadn't even noticed she had woken up. Her eyes were red and swollen. She turned to sit up. I immediately lost her warmth. She scooted to the edge of the couch and looked up at Alice.

"I missed you so much Alice, I tried to write to you several times and he would never let me send them. He told me you didn't need to hear my troubles and complaints about not going to school and he knew I was unhappy just being at his beck and call around the house."

"Bella why didn't you say something the last time we spoke?" Alice said as she kneeled down in front of her taking Bella's hands in hers.

Emmett was the one to speak up, "Alice, she never told anyone till it was to late".

I could tell this was a sore spot for him. Bella looked up at him with sad eyes and a new round of tears came from her eyes as she spoke to him.

"Em, I'm so so sorry"

He rushed over to her and hugged her tight to his chest. She just cried and held him tight.

"Shh Bells its going to be ok, I wont ever let him hurt you again, do you hear me ever" he spoke as the tears ran down his cheeks.

A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think, I should have the next chapter up next week. Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.


	7. Chapter 6 New Beginnings

A/N I am not the creator of these wonderful charters, they belong to non other that S. Meyer. I just like using them for my own proposes. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 6 New Beginnings

After last night at the bar, Em and Rose hadn't left my side. We got back to my apartment and talked about everything that had happened. Em was pissed that I hadn't told dad about what had happened, I just wanted to forget it and move on, I know I should tell him but just like Emmett he would just worry. I still cant believe it had happened. It had been almost 2 years and it took 2 minuets to bring it all back .

I was so surprised at how Edward had responded. It felt nice to be in his arms, call me crazy but I felt so safe with him holding me. I never let another man touch me physically or my heart after what James had done to me. I told myself I would never trust a man again. He had hurt me in the worst way a man could hurt a woman. Promises that were broken and my heart in the end in pieces. I knew he would never hurt me that way again, I never will let anyone hurt me that way again. I remember how I felt when I first moved to Phoenix with my mom, I was so hurt and lost, part of me died that night and I knew I would never get that part of me back. I had lost a baby, and I didn't even get the chance to really get used to the fact I was pregnant. It was stolen from me, and I will never forget it.

I was brought out of my thoughts to Em snoring, loudly I might add, next to me on my bed. He held me as I cried and told me that everything was going to be ok ,that he wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt me again. I knew I couldn't go back to the way I was I had to be strong, but could I? Could I move on and live? I guess only time would tell.

Today I start my new job, kind of a new beginning a way of moving forward in my life. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I hadn't heard from or seen Edward since the other night, and I knew my chances were fairly high that I would run into him since we were working at the same hospital, but I didn't know really how to act around him. Were we friends? I don't know really how to talk to him anymore. To be honest would he even want to talk to me after what happened?

I pulled up to the hospital and grabbed my paper work and purse. I knew I had to go to the front office but after that I want sure where to go.

"Hi my name is Isabella Swan, I was supposed to start here today in the pharmacy but I am not sure where to go?" I asked the red head behind the desk.

"Yes hi, my name is Tanya and I was informed to expect you, just one minuet and I wil get Mike for you, he will show you where you will go."

"Thank you", I said, and she smiled back at me with a bright cheerful smile. I stood there and looked around noticing all the doctors coming and going, everyone seemed nice and cheerful. That was a good sign right?

"Isabella?" I heard my name being called from behind me. I turned around and was in shock, there stood Mike Newton in scrubs. I hadn't seen him since graduation; he was still small and still had those bright blue eyes.

"Yes, that's me"

"My, my, my, if it isn't Bella Swan, how are you doing?" he asked as he pulled me up in a hug.

"I am good, how have you been?"

"Good, good I see you are starting today, I am glad to see you, if you would follow me we will get you started, and introduce you to everyone."

I followed him down the hall to the elevators we stood there in comfortable silence waiting for the doors to open.

We stepped inside and he pressed the button to the basement. After we got off the elevator we took a right and down a hall to the pharmacy door. He had to swipe his badge to get in the door.

"If you would just follow me I will get your badge and information for you, and then I will show you around." He smiled back at me.

"Sure, but I will be honest with you, I am really nervous about starting here, you know new hospital and all, its just kind of overwhelming for me." I said it a smile but I was shaking in my crocks.

"There is no reason to be nervous, we are really laid back here, and we all work real well together, and if it makes you feel better there is a certain dark haired girl that will be very happy to see you." He laughed at the last part. Who could he be talking about?

After he gave me my badge and I put my purse and personal items in a locker we walked thru another set of doors into the pharmacy. I was shocked when I came up face to face to my good friend Angela, she was always a great friend and we were really close in school.

"Bella, oh my God it is you." She ran up and hugged me tight, it felt nice to see her to be able to talk to her again. I pulled back to look at her.

"Ang, you look great, I have missed you so much." I said as I noticed we were both crying.

"We have to have lunch, and catch up today." She said

"Of coarse, lunch it is" I said with a smile.

After we went over the stations and Mike showed me where I would be putting the info into the computer and keeping up with the patient info, I had noticed how fast the time had went. Angela came up to me and reminded me about lunch. We left side by side to the cafeteria to eat.

We talked about everything that had went on in school and what she had been up to since we last seen each other. It felt nice to talk to her and reminisce on the past. It felt as though we had never been apart.

We were sitting there eating when I heard my name being called from behind me. I knew that voice as if it were my own. I turned around and there he stood. Looking like the Greek God he was in his blue scrubs. I think I actually drooled a little, pretty sure I stared a little to long but WOW he was hot.

" Hi" I said as he walked up to stand in front of our table, with that crooked smile on those perfect full lips.

"So how are you doing? I have been meaning to call you, but I got called in late last night and hadn't had the time to take a break until now. I was hoping to catch you here." He looked over to Angela and said hi to her before looking back to me.

"Well you know I've been good, as you know today was my first day and I was pretty nervous but that has passed and I am very happy. Nothing to worry about, everyone's been real nice to me and helped me out quite a bit."

"That's great, I guess I better get back to work, its been good talking to you, if you need anything please know you can come to me and I will help you anyway I can." He gave me a bright smile and leaned down to give me a hug before he walked away.

Angela gave me a knowing grin and went back to eating her salad. After lunch the day seemed to fly by and before I knew it it was time to go home. I was happy that my job was fun and everyone was great. Angela and I exchanged numbers and promised to do lunch again tomorrow.

I drove home with a weight lifted off my shoulders. I think everything was going to be ok, for the first time in a long while everything seemed right. I called Rose and told her about my day while I unpacked some more boxes. She was great and I was so glad Em had her in his life. Alice called to confirm the plans to go shopping for a few things I still needed for my apartment. After I ate my diner and watched some tv I was ready to call it a night.

The week went by quickly and without any mishaps. Emmett and Rose came over on Thursday and we had diner with Dad. I cooked his favorite my spaghetti and meat balls with garlic bread. After we sat and just enjoyed each other. It was nice, and for the first time in years I felt like I was home. And just a promised Em never said anything to dad about what had happened.

Saturday around 9pm I was sitting on my new comfy couch reading in my book. I was enjoying the peace and quiet, when I heard my door bell chime. I made my way to the door wondering who it could possibly be. I looked thru the pep hole and was surprised to see non other than Edward standing outside my door. I opened it and was greeted with his heart stopping smile.

"Hey, I was just getting home and noticed your light on. Would you like some company?" he asked in a little unsure voice.

"Sure I would love some, come on in." I stood back as he walked in and stopped. I closed the door only to turn around and have his lips on mine.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving And a Merry Christmas!!!!


	8. Chapter 7 Shopping and Conversations 101

A/N Hope everyone had a good New Years. Sorry took so long to post this so here u go enjoy… and as always I don't own Twilight or the characters just having fun with them…

Chapter 7

Knock….Knock…Knock….

I opened my eyes the sun was shining thru the French doors, I looked around and realized I was on my couch. Damn I thought last night was just a dream. Ugh…

Knock….Knock….Knock….

What the hell, who could be here at, I looked around to my clock hanging on the wall, 8:00 in the morning.

Knock…. Kno…. "I'm coming " I yelled

I opened the door to a very happy, smiling Alice.

"Alice, what the hell, why are you here?"

"well hello to you to sunshine, who pissed in your corn flakes?"

"Sorry" I mumbled as she pushed her way in my door.

"Damn Bella, did you sleep on your couch?"

"Yeah I guess I fell asleep reading" I said as I picked up my book from the floor infront on my couch.

"Bella get your scrawny ass in the shower, were going out for a day of shopping and fun."

"Come on Alice its to early for this shit, I just want to sleep, as you can see I didn't sleep to well on my couch so my beds calling, you can show your self out"

Somehow I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Oh no little lady go get in the shower, I ma making coffee, then we are going to go" Alice said while she was digging around in my kitchen cabinets for my coffee. How can someone so little be so damn bossy, its beyond me.

"Come on Al I just wanted to stay in today and do absolutely nothing till time for me to go work at Em's tonight."

"Well see you need to go shopping, you need some new clothes to were at the bar, you cant vey well go in your scrubs, which by the way why are you still in them?"

"I don't know I just didn't change when I got home, obviously I didn't plan on sleeping on my couch, so it would seem I didn't change to go to bed, duh"

"Go Bella, get in the shower before I kick your ass."

"Ok miss BOSSY ASS, fine but not because you told me to, GOT IT."

"Yeah yeah just go." She said laughing

I drug my tired ass into my nice roomy shower.

The hot water pounding down on my shoulders and neck felt so good. My mind couldn't help but wonder to the dream I had about Edward. It felt so real his lips and those piercing green eyes I love so much looking down at me with lust in them. I started thinking back to the past week, we talked and really about nothing in particular just talked, he was so easy to talk to I never felt nervous or like I was anything but an equal person. But I knew that wasn't true I wasn't an equal to him. I had so much shit in my past to deal with I didn't ever want to bring anyone else down with my baggage. Could I still have those feelings I had all those years ago for him? I kept asking myself that question and the only answer I kept getting was yes, I still was completely and utterly in love with this man. But so much has changed and I wasn't the same shy, innocent girl I was back then. He wasn't the same either, he was more confident and wasn't the nerdy guy he was in school. But that smile, oh that wonderful panty dropping crooked smile he had was the same. I could feel the goose bumps on my arms just thinking about it. UGH… But I had to keep reminding myself he was just a friend, and that's all he would ever be. No matter what I wanted, I needed his friendship, now more than ever. I would have to love him from a distance like I always had.

All to soon the water started running cooler, so reluctantly I stepped out and dried off to get ready for a day of shopping, oh joy.

"Damn Bell, I thought you fell asleep in there I was about to come drag your ass out here." Alice said as I walked into the kitchen, where she was sitting at the bar with her phone in her hands.

"Coffee Ally, I need it bad" I said laughing.

"Well you are defiantly are not a morning person are you grumpy pants?"

I couldn't help but laugh with her, there was always something about her that made my life complete, and until now I hadn't realized just how much I had missed her.

"Hey Al, why don't we call Rose see if she wants to go to?"

"One step ahead of you chick, she should be here in a few minuets." She said smiling.

After 2 cups of strong coffee, Rose came in and we left my apartment and headed to the dreaded mall.

About 4 hours later and 10 stores I finally talked the like bossy bitch into getting some lunch, she wasn't happy but finally gave into me and we went to TGI Fridays. We were sitting at a table talking about the things we still had to by, when Rose suddenly changed the subject.

"Bella, was the a special someone in Phoenix that you dated?" I finished my bite of salad and looked at her.

"No, not really , I mean I dated but never really wanted a relationship with anyone. I went on dates and hung out with a guy who was a real good friend his name was Andrew, but no real boyfriends of anything like that. Why?"

I looked up to Rose and Al, and their faces were unreadable, they looked at each other and then back to me.

"What, do I have something on my face or something hanging out of my nose, cause so help me if I have something hanging out of my nose you will pay" I wiped at me face and nose with my napkin.

"No, no you don't well I just figured you had possibly met someone else while you lived there and hell Bella I don't know I was just wondering, you know never mind you know how I am." She finished as she took a bit of her salad.

"No, Rose I got it, it just kind of thru me for a second, I mean yeah I would have loved to find the perfect man and have that perfect life you know big house, nice car, 2.5 kids and a wonderful husband to come home to at the end of the day hell even a dog in there somewhere, but I just don't think I was ever meant for that. In Phoenix I would through myself into my classes then when I was through with that I did the same with work. I just never really found the one you know what I mean.?" I finished not really looking up from my salad. " Also I don't really trust men anymore, so it will not be easy for me to have that kind of life."

"Bella, I'm sorry for what happened, but you deserve to be happy and have the life you want you know." Rose said as she reached over and rubbed my arm.

And of coarse Alice chose that moment to put her two cents in.

"Rose you know , Bell here was in love with my brother when we were kids, of coarse he was an idiot back then, not the same guy he is today." I just looked at her with my mouth hanging open catching flies and she had that no it all smirk on her face.

"Really" Rose said dragging out the ly a little to long, and of coarse the same smirk playing on her red lips.

"Ok, come on can we not talk about this PLEASE AL, I was young and stupid and because of that I lost his friendship. If I had just kept my big stupid mouth shut, you know never mind your not going to listen to anything I say so go on laugh it up get it all out of your systems."

"Alice what dose she mean if she had kept her mouth shut, what happened" Rose asked

"Well she told Edward she loved him the day of his graduation and he was a fool, he blew it and from what I gather didn't feel the same, anyway we didn't see much of Bell here that summer." She looked sad and deep in thought when I looked up at her, "Anyway that was the summer when she hooked up with James the fucker." Now she just looked pissed off.

"Can we please not go there?, I don't want to go there today and don't we have more shopping to do, I know I could use some more shoes." I winked at Al so she knew I wasn't mad at her. She smiled.

They both let it drop, and we went back to shopping.

Before I knew it, it was almost 4:30. We made it back to my place and they helped me carry my 6 bags of clothes, shoes and lotions and shampoos from Bath and Body works up to my apartment. I was wore out.

They decided to head out and promised to come see me hard at work later at the bar. I locked the door and took off my shoes and made it to my room to catch a nap. I didn't even get the covers thrown back before I feel asleep sideways on my bed.

It was about 8:15 when I woke up, the room was dark.

I drug my butt back to the shower to refresh and started getting ready for my night of drunks. I pulled my hair back in a low ponytail, and dressed in one of my new outfits. It was by far one of my favorites, a pair of black skinny jeans, a fitted red v neck Aero top, and the new boots I had bought today. I put on some makeup and made my eyes look smoky. I grabbed my coach purse, and was out the door by 9:45.

It was a busy night, a lot of people had come out to let loose after a long week of working. I seen several people I had went to school with. Em was working right beside me and it felt real nice. I had missed him. We were always close growing up and I know how upset he had been at me for never confiding in him. He was always my protector and I loved him dearly.

The night wore on and it was full of laughs and fun. Rose and Alice were true to their word and showed up around 11. The came up to the bar and chatted with me till Jasper showed up and they got a table.

It was nearing midnight and the bar was still going strong I had several shots in me before Em was nice enough to share a secret with me so I didn't have to drink every shot bought for me. I was finishing pouring a beer for a customer when I heard that familiar velvety voice, I looked up and was met by those green eyes and that crooked smile of the man I had dreamed about the night before.

"Hello Bella" and I was done my heart skipped a beat and I was lost in those eyes.

A/N okay so yea or nea pleasr let me know, I would love to have some more reviews, please tell me what you think…….until next time…..


	9. Chapter 8 Brown Eyed Girl

A/N I am not SM I do not own these characters, just playing with them.

Chapter 8 – Brown Eyed Girl

EPOV

The week went by in a haze. I was glad to have the few hours a week I got to spend talking to Bella. I caught myself thinking about all the years I had spent dreaming about her and the days I spent watching her with my sister Alice when we were younger. I knew some of what had happened to her and was angry I wasn't around to help her, to hold her like I have always wanted to do. She was beautiful as always, I had always thought she was a beautiful girl. The years had defiantly agreed with her, she was still as beautiful al always. She had more curves and her facial features were defiantly those of a woman not a teenager anymore. She was still breathtaking.

My parents loved her like one of there own. I remember my mom always talking about her and how hard her life had been over the past years. My father was her doctor the night she was brought into the hospital. I unfortunately was still away at school but I remember hearing them talk on night in the den when I had come home for the weekend. I heard him break down to my mom about how she had lost her baby and the damage that she had endured. They hadn't wanted us to know anything about the baby because of Bella. She was ashamed and blamed herself. I remember driving to her house and sitting in my car across the street watching her window. I wanted so badly to take the pain away from her. Alice never knew what I knew; she had always believed the story that was told to us. A couple months later I came home for the summer and was told she had moved away, that she needed a new start. I was upset that I had never told her that I loved her also that I wanted to take care of her and someday marry her.

Emmett had told me a few weeks ago that she was moving home. To say that I was happy would be an understatement. Then as fate would have it she was working in the hospital pharmacy. I loved seeing her everyday in her scrubs, she was so cute. No one knows how I really feel about her; I never thought I would ever see her again. Alice had always guessed of my feelings but I never confirmed them. Alice was really hurt when she lost contact with Bella. She never blamed Bella for not contacting her, she knew deep down that it wasn't her fault.

The week when we all met up at the bar for Bella's homecoming I was a nervous wreck. But when I saw her it was like old times. Em was beside himself, glad to have his sister home. I knew he had missed her terribly. They had always had a strong bond. Charlie was over the moon to have and I quote "my little girl home".

Then when James pulled the shit he pulled I was furious at myself that I hadn't pulled his head off his shoulders. I wanted to run after him and beat the shit out of him, but I couldn't when I saw Bella sitting there I had to hold her, I had to reassure myself as well as her that she was fine.

Today was Friday and I was a little let down that I wasn't going to get to see Bella in her scrubs, she only had a four day work week. The day drug by slow, but having talked to Em on my lunch break I knew I would see Bella that night at the bar, eight o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

Almost 9:00 before I could walk out of the hospital tonight. I got in my car and drove to my house. I got home and warmed up some spaghetti, turned on my 52' and flipped thru the channels and of course nothing on. I was nervous; I couldn't wait to see Bella. I jumped in the shower and let the hot water relax my muscles. I thought back to the conversation I had with Emmett the past week, he had told me about some of the things with Bella. I still couldn't tell him how I felt about his sister. My heart ached when he had mentioned how he wished she could find someone to love, someone who would take care of her and treat her with the respect that she deserved. I understood completely how he felt, I felt the same way about Alice. She had found a good guy and he loved her with all he had, she was lucky. And Jasper was one lucky bastard to have her. But I wanted that to, I wanted a love like my parents had. And I knew I could have that with Bella. I just wished I had told her all those years ago. I wanted her I wanted a life with her, to have children and to love her for the rest of my life. Why couldn't I tell her this? I knew why, there is no way she could feel the same. I had hurt her in the past, she had no reason to believe me now.

I got out of the shower feeling somewhat refreshed, I still had a ache in my chest for Bella. I dressed in my dark blue jeans and put on my hunter green long sleeved button down shirt and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows. I tried to get my hair to lay down but after 10 minutes of fucking with it I gave up. I grabbed my wallet and keys and locked the door on my way out.

After the 10 minute drive I pulled up to the bar, got out of my car and took a deep breath to help calm me down. I walked in, the place was alive tonight. Some local band was playing up on stage, they sounded pretty good. They were playing songs from the older rock bands Poison, Bon Jovi, and some Aerosmith that was good music. I walked in and the song they were playing was Wanted Dead or Alive. I looked around to see who I could see, Alice and Jasper were sitting at a booth in the corner with Rose, Alice and Rose were in a deep discussion while Jas looked onto the stage at the band. I looked over to the bar to see Em and Bella laughing and serving the patrons at the bar. She looked beautiful. She had on a red low cut top and her hair was pulled up, she wasn't wearing much makeup but she never needed it she was always perfect.

Em spotted me and waved me over, as I walked up to the bar all I could think about was pulling Bella over the bar and holding on to her and never letting her go, I wanted to kiss her to feel her soft red lips on mine, to wrap my arms around her tiny waist and hold her. I walked up to the bar, she looked up and I was struggling with myself to speak, she was breath taking, her big chocolate eyes looked up to me and a bright smile broke out on her face.

"Hello Bella" I spoke hoping I was speaking clearly.

"Hi Edward, it's good to see you. I was hoping you would come in tonight." She said as she poured a beer for a customer.

"What would you like tonight?" she asked

"Huh" I was making a fool out of myself I couldn't make a complete sentence

"I asked what you would like, you know to drink."

"O um how about a Bud Light and a shot of Crown."

"Sure, coming right up." She turned to get my drinks when Em walked up.

"Hey Ed man how are you doing tonight?" he asked as he stuck his hand out to shake.

"Good man, looks like your busy tonight."

"Yeah we have been I am glad Bells is here she has been a life saver, I didn't know she knew how to bartend as well as she does." He said laughing.

About that time she was handing me my beer and shot, Em grabbed her and pulled her into a head lock playing around and she squealed at him to let her go. She was laughing at him. She turned to walk away when he pooped her on the thigh with a bar towel.

"Em if you don't stop I am going to tell Rose and you know what that means don't you?" She was laughing and pointing her finger in his face.

"Aw hell Bells you wouldn't do that to your big brother now would you?" he was giving her his puppy dog eyes.

"Wont I?" she asked looking at him.

"Ok Ok I got ya no more." He was laughing

Just then some guy hollered from the other end of the bar "Hey sugar can I get a refill" she turned to walk away laughing at the pout on her brothers face.

I told Em I was going to go join the group and hang out for a while. I looked a Bella as she looked up from the tap and waved and smiled at her. She smiled back and went back to pouring a beer.

The night had been pretty relaxed. The band was winding down their last set, and the crowed was thinning out. I looked at my watch to see it was almost 2:30 am. Rose had informed us we could hang out a while longer after the bar closed. She got up and walked back to the office. Alice turned her eyes on me, I knew that look and to be frank it scarred the hell out of me.

"So brother of mine how was your week?" she asked

"Good Al how was yours?"

"Good, Good I can't complain, went shopping today with Rose and Bella, had a informative conversation with Bella." She said as she eyed Bella at the bar

"Really, well I am glad you got together, how is she doing?" I asked

"Edward, why don't you talk to her? Ask her out I know you want to you have been acting like a teenage boy since she has been back; just ask her out she might surprise you."

"I don't know Al I really like talking and hanging out with her right now I don't want to do anything to piss her off, you know what I mean?"

I looked up at the bar and watched as she whipped the bar counter down and cleaned off the dirty glasses and shot glasses. She looked over at me and smiled. I couldn't help but notice the blush that crept up on her cheeks. She was beautiful.

Emmett locked the door as the last customer walked out. He walked over to the jukebox in the corner and put in some change.

"Bells get your skinny ass out here and dance with your brother" he said as Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl started playing

"Em come on you know I can't dance"

"Bull shit this is our song get out here"

We were all watching as Em pulled his sister out from behind the bar and started dancing. Bella was laughing and singing along to their song. Em was having a ball with his little sister; it was clear the bond the two had. Em would do anything for her and would take care of her so she would never get hurt again. Jas and Alice joined them on the dance floor. Rose walked up to me and pulled me to the floor with her. We were all dancing and having a good time.

The song changed over to a country song by Brad Paisley "Then", Em pulled Rose over to him and passed Bella off to me. We looked at each other and smiled, and of course she blushed a bright red. I pulled her to me and we danced around the floor arm and arm. She fit perfect in my arms and I knew then I never wanted to let her go.

After the song ended we broke apart. The warmth of her arms was already missed. She went back behind the bar to get her purse and jacket.

"Guys, I am going to get going" she said to everyone, of course she had to hug Rose, Alice, Jasper and Em.

She looked up at me not sure weather hug me or what she should do.

"I will walk you out" I said as I took her hand

"Ok thank you, I will see you all later" and she turned to go

"Bells be careful call when you get home, love you sis." Em called as we walked out.

"Ok Em, love you to." She called as we walked out the door.

We walked over to her Jeep and she unlocked it and opened the door she threw her purse and jacket over into the passenger seat and turned around to face me.

She was nervous, and so was I. I knew I wanted to ask her to dinner but wasn't sure what to say, I was scared she would say no.

"Edward, thank you for walking me out and for the dance, I had fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed the dance, I would be lying if I said I didn't like having you in my arms."

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and a blush. I knew she wanted to say something but she didn't.

"Well I guess I am going to go, again thanks."

She turned to get in the car and I couldn't let her. I pulled her to me and looked into her shocked eyes and pulled her face to mine. I put my lips on hers and was lost, she felt so soft, so right in my arms. I felt her put her hands in my hair on the back of my neck as the kiss grew stronger. We both moaned at the same time into each others mouths as our tongues fought each other for dominance. We both pulled away for the air we needed. I held onto her my forehead pressed to hers. I heard her whisper so soft "wow" so low she thought I didn't hear her. I looked at her and said "I know".

"Bella I have wanted to ask you for a while now but would you go to dinner with me?"

"I thought you would never ask." She said with a bright smile.

I couldn't help it I crashed my lips to hers again. Then all the sudden we here several gasp followed with a "What the Hell" from Emmett and an "It's about time" from Alice and Rose.

A/N: hope it was worth the wait. I really need some reviews it would help get me into the story more. When I started this I already had a beginning and an end in mind, I hope you stick with me here it will get better and will be worth the wait for the end. PLEASE Review, Thanks!!


	10. Chapter 9 Misunderstandings and Mistakes

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter. Real life reared its ugly head in my household we lost my 17 month old nephew in March. It was a shock and I pray no one ever has to go thru that. Also we just past the 2 year mark of loosing my dad I April. Now with all that past I am hoping to get back into this story. I hope I haven't lost any of my readers, and if I have I understand. Again thanks to those who were waiting for this….

Also I do not own these characters just borrowing them…

Chapter 9 Misunderstandings and Mistakes

BPOV

It had been 2 months since the night Edward kissed me senseless. It was also the night I felt my heart break into once again by him. I remember him telling Em it was just a friendly kiss and it meant nothing to him, Oh and that dinner he asked me to was the family dinners they shared together every month. Yeah I was devastated and there was no way I would ever let him see me cry. I did well till I walked into my apartment. I cried myself to sleep that night just like I had so many times before when I was younger. I couldn't believe how silly it was for me to think he could ever be interested in me, dull brown eyes and mousey face. No he was more of a blonde hair, blue eyed bombshell type. I woke the next morning with a clear head, I was going to be Edwards's friend, nothing more. I could do that.

I remember telling Alice how stupid I felt about the whole thing, and she was completely acting weird about the whole thing, she was sad about something and wouldn't tell me exactly what, and Rose, Oh my sweet Rose, she was ready to beat ass. I had to beg her to just leave it alone, it wasn't worth it, I mean you can't make someone love you.

Which brings us to the present, it was a Friday night and for once I was not working at the bar. There was some new club opening in Port Angeles and we were going to check it out. Alice, Rose and myself were going to go on up and the guys were coming a couple hours later, Em wanted to make sure Ben could handle a Friday night on his own. I knew Ben was more than capable but Em was a worry wart.

We spent the evening getting ready at my place. Alice was wearing a pink strapless dress that fit her curves to a "T" she looked good, and Rose had on this little red top with her black skinny jeans and red heels, Em was going to croak when he sees her, and I was wearing a midnight blue silk dress that hit just above the knee and was off on the right shoulder, and some as Alice would call them some "Fuck –Me " gold heels. I just prayed I didn't need an ER before the night was over.

"Earth to Bella" Alice sang from the front seat. "Hey what are you thinking about you seem like your off in another world".

"Nothing, just thinking, you know about stuff" I said with a smirk.

"Girl I've noticed it to, what's wrong?" Rose asked.

"Nothing really guys just enjoying the ride is all, this is the first time I have been out of Forks since I've been back."

"I wonder what kinds of hotties are going to be in here tonight?" Rose said while looking at me in her rear view mirror with a smirk on her face.

"Oh this is going to be so fun, Bella, I mean you can look and touch, you have to let me help you find a man. Please, Please, Please?" Alice wined looking back at me with her puppy dog eyes.

"Alice, come on, I just want to dance and drink, you know have fun I can do that without a man, why do you think I need a man anyway, I can have fun and be single and with no strings attached, that sounds really go to me right now…"

"Fine be a party pooper but don't come to me wishing you hooked up with one of these delicious looking guys standing in line"

"Sure Alice I won't blame you for my lonely love life" I said sarcastically.

We got out of the care at the club, bright neon lights lit up the name "Blood Moon". There was a line wrapped around the place. I was walking to the back of the line when I was pulled so hard my arm was almost pulled out of the socket.

"Good Lord Alice what the hell are you doing?"

"Do you really think we are going to stand in that line Bella, Really come on."

I looked at Rose who was just standing there looking at me like I had something hanging out of my nose.

"What" I asked narrowing my eyes at her.

"Boy I dropped the ball when I was trying to teach you what I have taught you didn't I?" Rose just laughed and turned to walk to the front of the line.

I heard men whistling and doing catcalls at us as we sashayed to the front of the line. I could have died of embarrassment right there, I was hoping the sidewalk would swallow me up and I would have been out of my misery.

"Hey there girls where do you think your going?" of course the big bouncer guy was going to stop us. I couldn't wait to yell "DUH" in their faces.

"Well you see we just thought you would be kind enough to maybe let us thru, you know were wearing these heels and our feet are starting to hurt." Alice said to him with a pout and puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah and" Rose stepped up to him to whisper in his ear, but of coarse the whole front of the line heard her "you see my friend back here, well she is kind of sad, we were hopping to cheer her up you know maybe find her a man" she looked at me pleading with me to play along. I just stood there looking absolutely mortified at those two, I think I might have to kick there asses before the night was over.

He just stood there looking at me with a look on his face I couldn't quite decipher.

"Go now before I change my mind, and have fun." I looked at his name tag, his name was "Big D", seriously, I walked by him and he smacked me on my ass. I turned around about to go off on him when I felt two sets of hands pulling my thru the door, the whole time he was just smirking and he winked at me, he had the nerve to wink.

"Bella come on do you want to get us kicked out of here as soon as we walk thru the door." Rose asked

"No but seriously did you see him, I mean come on why would he degrade a woman like that?"

"Oh come on seriously Bella I can think of things other men do a hell of a lot worse than that, which degrades women a lot more than that." Alice said Rose sucked in a breath and Alice paled when she realized what she said.

"Shit Bella, I didn't mean t..." I stopped her before she could finish her sentence.

"I know just drop it please, were here to have fun right, then let's have fun I really need a drink right now."

"Come on girls lets go get our drink on and find us a good spot to scope out the guys." Rose said as she put her arm around me and lead me towards the bar. Alice looked like she just lost her puppy, I felt bad she was feeling like that.

"Alice, come on really its ok, just forget about it and help me find a man." I said with a smile.

"Ok" She perked up then.

We got over to the bar and the bartender asked us what we wanted, we ordered 3 shots of Tequila and 3 Sex on The Beaches.

We held up our shots and made a toast.

Rose "To Great Sex"

Alice "To Love"

And lastly me "To Friends and the Future"

We downed the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar. We walked over towards the stage and found a pub table. They had a live band playing and they were really good. We were looking around at the faces and the drunken people dancing, knowing I was going to look like these fools after a couple more drinks. We drank and talked about the people. After a couple more shots and drinks, the band started playing our song, I couldn't help the smile that lit up my face when Alice and Rose squealed and pulled me from my bar stool to go dance.

My Girlfriend's a dick magnet My Girlfriend's gotta have it  
She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots, Tip the man he'll  
Ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell.  
Dirty girl, gettin' down, dance with guys from outta town.  
Grab her ass, actin' tough. Mess with her, she'll fuck you up.  
No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, but she's  
Comin' back to my place tonite!

We were grinding and singing, loudly I might add……..

She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat  
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth  
I like to strip her down she's naughty to the end  
You know what she is, no doubt about it  
She's a bad, bad girlfriend!

Of course we were shaking our asses and singing, I was totally getting with it, Rose was in front of me and Alice was in back as we danced and shouted out the song..

Red thong, Party's on, Love this song, sing along.  
Come together, leave alone, see you later back at home  
No one really knows if she's drunk or is she's stoned  
But she's coming back to my place tonite. I say  
No one really knows just how far she's gonna go,  
But I'm gonna find out later tonite

She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat  
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth  
I like to strip her down she's naughty to the end  
You know what she is, no doubt about it  
She's a bad, bad girlfriend! ……

I don't remember the rest of the song, I was drunk and I didn't care, it felt good to let go and have fun. It was me and my girls and that was alright.

After the song ended we made our way back over to the table. Rose still had half her drink and Alice was nursing hers, but not me I needed a refill.

"Hey girls I'm going to go get me another drink, you need anything?"

"Naw, I'm good" Rose said

"No I still got some, I'm fine right now besides the guys should be getting here soon anyway" Alice said.

Oh yeah right I all most forgot they have their men coming, then what, I know Edward will be here and I really didn't want to see him right now, I know it's not his fault but damnit I want that I want someone to hold me and run his fingers thru my hair, I want Edward was what I wanted but I couldn't have him. I must have been in my thoughts when the bartender asked me what I wanted.

'I'll have another shot of Tequila and another Sex on The Beach, Thanks" I said while listening to the band.

"Bella, Bella swan, is that you?" I heard someone hollering over the music. I turned around to see none other than Tyler Crowley walking up to me.

"Tyler, O My God is that you?" I asked, my eyes were about to pop out of my head boy had he changed from that scrawny little boy to this spectacular man I was staring at now. The years were defiantly good to him, he was almost 2 feet taller and was more muscle. He was a beautiful creature.

He walked over and grabbed me up in a hug. And it felt real good to be in someone's arms again. He was warm and huge, he lifted me with no problem.

"Damn Bell's you look WOW, I mean just WOW." He said while he looked me over. And of course I blushed.

"Look at you, Tyler your buff, you look great." I said and he pulled me up to him again.

We moved over to the side of the bar and talked for it seems like hours. We talked bout what we had been up to for the past 5 years and what we were doing now. It felt great to have someone to talk to and he actually listened to me.

I was apparently to engrossed in our conversation to notice the guys getting there.

EPOV

After the night I kissed Bella, I noticed she was a little stand offish to me, we still ate lunch and talked when we were out with the group, or when we were at her house for dinner when she had us all over. But we never really talked about what had happened. The kiss was great, she felt so good in my arms, I never wanted her to leave, but of course Em had to bust my bubble. I froze, I didn't know what to say when we looked up at them they were all staring at us and I was afraid Bella was uncomfortable. I know I sounded cold and mean but I wanted to talk to her, see where we were going together before I said anything to them.

Tonight was the night I was going to tell Bella how I felt, this had went on to long, I needed her now more than ever.

We walked into the club, leave it to Em to know a guy named "Big D".

I looked around and spotted Alice waving like a banshee trying to get our attention.

"Hey guys look there they are, lets go see if they need anything from the bar before we go get something." I told them.

"Yeah sounds good" Jasper said

"Sure I can't wait to see what my Rosy has on anyway, I would hate to have to kick some guys ass for looking at her." Em said as we walked their way. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit anxious to see what Bella had on.

We got thru the crowd and found they had a pub table and a good spot to check out the area.

When we got there I noticed Bella wasn't there. I also noticed Em was about to suck Roses face off. I could have went the rest of the night not seeing that.

"Hey Jazzy, bout time you guys got here, we were wondering if you got lost?" Alice said as she hugged Jasper and me.

"No, we just got held up by Ed here, some reason he was trying to tame his hair." Jasper smirked my way.

"Alice, where's Bella, didn't she come with you guys?"

"Yeah, she's at the bar. She ran into Tyler and they have been talking for a while now. I don't think I have seen her laugh like that in a while." Rose said, looking at me with a knowing look.

I looked over at the bar and saw them, and she did look happy. He had his hand on the small of her back and she was leaned in like she was listening to something he was saying. Ok, I thought to my self, there just talking.

I barely heard the band playing, or Em and Rose and Jasper and Alice talking about their night, all I could concentrate on was the woman that I was in love with, with another mans arms around her, where mine should have been.

Ok Love it? Hate it? Please review and tell me what you think. I promise as long as Real Life stays calm I will have the other chapter up soon… Thank You for reading. Lori

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